painting in the dark

Years ago, I believed that every work of art should “live forever” and be a masterpiece. If my art was not accepted and acclaimed by art critics and collectors, then it was not a masterpiece and therefore not valuable. If my art was not valuable, then it should not exist. I really believed that I had to be born some kind of artistic or musical genius to do something “wonderful.”

During a particular hard, dark season creating felt impossible. In a moment of desperation, I set out some random craft paints, some old paintbrushes, and a canvas. And then I turned out the lights. I could not face my art, but I reached out and painted…in the dark.

I could barely see what I was doing and I started to relax. I felt a wonderful sense of enjoyment while I put random paint on the canvas. I felt freedom. There was nothing to criticize, because I could not see what I was doing. There was nothing to hate , because there was no expectations. I just enjoyed the process.

When I turned on the lights, something magical happened. I felt something I had never felt before: compassion and curiosity in my heart for what I had painted. I liked it. My painting was odd and freeform for sure, but something about it reminded me of the feelings I experience during the painting experience.

Over the years I have guided a few individuals through this “painting in the dark” experience and I have seen them experience the same compassion and curiosity for their art that I had experienced.

And now, even with the lights on, I have learned to focus on the creative process and to enjoy the feeling of paint against canvas or paper. I can now paint for the sheer joy of seeing surprising color combinations and unexpected strokes that give form to something I could not have planned.

Friend, my prayer for you is that you don’t need to paint in the dark to know your worth or enjoy your craft, but if you do, try it. You might be surprised.